The all guilty verdict in the Shafia “honor killing” trial caught me off-guard. It wasn’t the verdict itself (which was a no-brainer), it was how fired up I became when I heard it.

As a woman this a blatant case of the worst kind of violence against women. When you kill a woman or girl because they are female it’s Femicide. Screw a misguided sense of “honor” - it is about control, power and pride (in the vice sense of the word). 

This was also a blatant case of parents killing their children - inconceivable to me as a mom. I am looking at my 18 month old daughter as I write this and hope she grows up to be a liberated, self-determining, confident woman - all the traits that seemingly got the Shafia girls killed. Tragic. 

And as a Canadian I am fiercely proud that we sent a message to the world that while we are a welcoming nation, we defend the universal values of human rights and justice for all. 

My hope in all of this is that the girl terrified of her abuser knows that we don’t think she deserves to be hurt for being HERself - that she is a victim and there can be justice. 

And that the abuser feeling a need to control and punish a woman thinks twice - because there is no honor in hurting a woman and he will be brought to justice. 

I have hope this message will mean these three girls and woman didn’t suffer and die in vain.

Let’s get the message out.  Let our actions help bring honour to their memory. 

On this week’s “O Show” our debate on bullying in the wake of a suicide by an area highschool student generated such an overwhelming response I feel compelled to argue my point further.

The word “bully” brings to mind nostalgic notions of Biff bugging George McFly in the 80’s classic flick Back to the Future. You know - the archetypal high school bully from a bad family that picks on the weakling until the weakling has a confidence building ephiphany and stands up to the bully. The story ends sweetly with the bully working for the former weakling later in life.

Or the ad featured on the back of comic books where the bully kicked sand on the weakling on the beach until the weakling took up weight lifting and came back looking like Atlas. Then he got the girls and all was well with the universe. How quaint.

But there is nothing quaint about today’s bullying. George McFly was not subject to online harassment campaigns, brutal beatings, or character assassinations through social media and body building certainly doesn’t stop these social media attacks.

Most importantly McFly and the weakling on the beach were never bullied to the point of contemplating suicide.

But kids today are committing suicide because of bullying. What had changed? Are they weaker? Do they lack social skills from their parents to handle a bully? Is society just too soft these days - not requiring kids to “man-up” and deal?

I reject all of these antiquated notions. Technology and changes in our culture where kids have access to adult media and adopt adult behaviours at an earlier age, makes bullying by boys and girls so insidious that it is causing wonderful people to end their lives.

So what can be done? One bullied boy in Eastern Canada stopped going to school until the school held a rally to raise awareness and support him.

Some schools go beyond the weakly enforced “zero tolerance policy” to create safe spaces and support groups. 

Parents can learn to talk to their kids assertively about school and pay close attention to telltale signs their child is being victimized.

But I think we can do better. As I said on the show, in any other context in our society bullying is assault.

Let’s stop using the “schoolyard bully” language and the rite of passage nonsense it conjures up, and call this cruel, soul crushing behavior what it actually is - “assault”.

Maybe once we give it a serious name we will start treating it seriously.

It’s rare to see people react with such sadness to an event that was as predicted as Jack Layton’s tragic passing. We all heard his voice and saw the cake makeup on his face in his last press conference and yet his optimistic attitude that so captured our national attention in the recent federal election made us all believe that if ANYONE could beat cancer again it would be Jack.

You may not agree with his politics or even his approach but there was something about his attitude that was truly contagious. It woke us up in the final stages of another  dull conservative VS liberal election and made us think that this guy could be Prime Minister. 

Why? The NDP platform hadn’t changed. Their tactics hadn’t evolved. His party wasn’t much more electable. It was Jack – his sheer will to lead, his optimism for unprecedented results for his party, and his hope for a better Canada that inspired a cynical country.

And that is why his optimism matters – he translated his personal optimism into hope for a nation.

His final missive sums it up best:

“My friends, love is better than anger. Let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.  And we’ll change the world” – Jack Layton, August 20, 2011.

 Words for us all to embrace and live by.

With all due respect to the beaver and maple syrup, the invention of the telephone and the bra, what we should be most proud of as Canadians is our culture itself. 

In the past few weeks I have had some amazing and difficult conversations on TV and in our podcast. 

On the Michael Coren show we talked about several cases in which the right to speak freely was under scrutiny (Dutch politician regarding Islam and Toronto sportscaster regarding same sex marriage). In both cases I vociferously defended each the right to say what they believe even if I don’t support their positions. 

On the show, For The Record, Larry Di Ianni and I went another round about his comments regarding some citizens in the core. We both had blogged and tweeted about it. We came to verbal blows after the show as we are both passionate about our community. I even asked Dr. Marie Bountrogianni to weigh in on the debate during her Chat from the Lair podcast and her answer was remarkable 

In all of these cases I had the freedom to say what I believed in a culture that espouses public debate. 

We are not afraid of new ideas in Canada. We are not afraid to challenge authority. And as I did a training program yesterday at the St. Joseph’s Immigrant Women’s Centre I was reminded once again of how we don’t just embrace diversity of opinion in Canada we embrace diversity of people. And I am fiercely proud of that. 

As I tweeted recently to a new Twitter pal in Australia “you would love Canadian culture - we are laid back and progressive” 

She agreed. Happy Canada Day! 

Let’s talk about how Hamilton talks. We are 9th largest city in Canada and pretty interesting when you consider our past, issues, location, and culture. We are known throughout Canada and have a distinct brand whether you like it or not.

So how do we have the conversations to process, analyze and advance such a dynamic city?

I’m not talking about news - the distribution of information - I’m talking about how we parse the information - our critical process through local media. 

Bill Kelly and Scott Thompson do call in shows on CHML each morning.

Every Tuesday on Cable 14 Loren and I and a guest debate the hot local topics and other panels discuss specific issues.

CHCH has Square Off daily and debates local and provincial issues.

The Spec and the weeklies (like Mountain News) have columnists, the editorials, letters to the editors, and op eds and blogs.

Then there are the magazines and other smaller publications.

Do you think that is enough? Do you think we ever get below the surface with our traditional media?

I don’t. And that is not anyone’s fault or oversight, it is just a reality.

That is why our team has created a weekly podcast - Chats from the Lair with Laura Babcock to sit down with interesting people and discuss in-depth issues that matter.

Our guests won’t always be local but they will be interesting and the conversations will relevant to today.

You will get a chance to hear something different, intense, and no-holds-barred, and perhaps most importantly, it is something you can participate in.

We often will tweet asking for your questions and comments during a recording and have provided lots of tools for your feedback on www.laircast.com.

We aren’t making money on this venture. We are doing this because it is fun and we see a need to add frequent, deep, interesting conversations to Hamilton’s media mix. (Have to give props to the raging debate online and our active blogsphere.)

Each Tuesday at noon we will post a new chat. So listen and tell us what you think. Be critical and be honest.

More critical thinking and conversation is what will help move Hamilton forward. Join the chat on www.laircast.com or drop us a tweet @Laurababcock and @POWERGROUP